The Best Episodes of Family Guy Season 3

Episode Rankings

1. #1 Fan Favorite
   

   8.0/10(2755 votes)

   #1 - The Thin White Line (1)

   S3:E17/11/2001

   Brian's keen sense of smell gets him a job with the police department.

   Director:Glen Hill

   Writer:Steve Callaghan

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   Director:Glen Hill

   Writer:Steve Callaghan
2. 

   7.6/10(2582 votes)

   #2 - Brian Does Hollywood (2)

   S3:E27/18/2001

   Brian's first job in Hollywood is directing a pornographic film.

   Director:Gavin Dell

   Writer:Gary Janetti

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   Director:Gavin Dell

   Writer:Gary Janetti
3. 

   7.5/10(2429 votes)

   #3 - Mr. Griffin Goes to Washington

   S3:E37/25/2001

   The tobacco industry sends Peter to Washington to present a speech about smoking.

   Director:Brian Hogan

   Writer:Ricky Blitt

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   Director:Brian Hogan

   Writer:Ricky Blitt
4. 

   7.5/10(2455 votes)

   #4 - One if by Clam, Two if by Sea

   S3:E48/1/2001

   When a hurricane strikes Quohog, everything is destroyed including The Drunken Clam, which is bought out by a Brit who turns it into an English pub. As it happens, pub owner Nigel Pinchley and his family move in next door to the Griffins, and Stewie tries to teach Nigel's Cockney-accented 3-year-old daughter how to speak proper English.

   Director:Dan Povenmire

   Writers:Jim Bernstein, Michael Shipley

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   Director:Dan Povenmire

   Writers:Jim Bernstein, Michael Shipley
5. 

   7.6/10(2412 votes)

   #5 - And the Wiener Is...

   S3:E58/8/2001

   Peter joins a gun club to compensate for his lack of physical assets; Meg becomes the target of the "cool" gang's wrath.

   Director:Bert Ring

   Writers:Matt Weitzman, Mike Barker

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   Director:Bert Ring

   Writers:Matt Weitzman, Mike Barker
6. 

   8.0/10(2524 votes)

   #6 - Death Lives

   S3:E68/15/2001

   After a near-death experience on his anniversary, Peter learns the importance of spending time with Lois.

   Director:Rob Renzetti

   Writer:Mike Henry

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   Director:Rob Renzetti

   Writer:Mike Henry
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7. 

   7.3/10(2516 votes)

   #7 - Lethal Weapons

   S3:E78/22/2001

   New Yorkers invade the town in the fall; Lois hones her martial-arts skills.

   Directors:Pete Michels, Brian Hogan

   Writer:Chris Sheridan

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   Directors:Pete Michels, Brian Hogan

   Writer:Chris Sheridan
8. 

   6.7/10(2502 votes)

   #8 - The Kiss Seen Around the World

   S3:E88/29/2001

   Meg lands an internship working with the school nerd at a television station.

   Directors:Pete Michels, Peter Shin

   Writer:Mark Hentemann

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   Directors:Pete Michels, Peter Shin

   Writer:Mark Hentemann
9. 

   7.3/10(2348 votes)

   #9 - Mr. Saturday Knight

   S3:E99/5/2001

   Peter decides to pursue his dream career as a knight.

   Directors:Pete Michels, Michael Dante DiMartino, Peter Shin

   Writer:Steve Callaghan

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   Directors:Pete Michels, Michael Dante DiMartino, Peter Shin

   Writer:Steve Callaghan
10. 

    7.1/10(2449 votes)

    #10 - Fish out of Water

    S3:E109/19/2001

    When Peter decides to become a fisherman, he takes out a large loan to buy a fishing boat and unwittingly gives up everything he owns as collateral.

    Directors:Pete Michels, Peter Shin, Bert Ring

    Writers:Alex Borstein, Mike Henry

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    Directors:Pete Michels, Peter Shin, Bert Ring

    Writers:Alex Borstein, Mike Henry
11. 

    8.1/10(2562 votes)

    #11 - Emission Impossible

    S3:E1110/8/2001

    Lois' pregnant sister inspires her and Peter to have another baby.

    Directors:Pete Michels, Peter Shin

    Writers:David Collard, Ken Goin

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    Directors:Pete Michels, Peter Shin

    Writers:David Collard, Ken Goin
12. 

    8.1/10(2663 votes)

    #12 - To Love and Die in Dixie

    S3:E1211/15/2001

    The Griffins are put into the witness protection program.

    Directors:Pete Michels, Dan Povenmire

    Writer:Steve Callaghan

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    Directors:Pete Michels, Dan Povenmire

    Writer:Steve Callaghan
13. 

    7.3/10(2258 votes)

    #13 - Screwed the Pooch

    S3:E1311/29/2001

    Peter and Lois go to the Pewterschmidts for the weekend, bringing Brian along. Brian, meanwhile, has some "issues" of his own to work out. Find out if Brian's future is to make puppies or become "less" than he is.

    Director:Pete Michels

    Writers:David Collard, Ken Goin

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    Director:Pete Michels

    Writers:David Collard, Ken Goin
14. 

    7.6/10(2284 votes)

    #14 - Peter Griffin: Husband, Father... Brother?

    S3:E1412/6/2001

    While trying to teach Chris about his Irish roots, Peter stumbles upon Nate Griffin, a black man in his family tree. Peter tries to embrace his new-found heritage, but can’t quite get the hang of it. When Lois’ father, Carter Pewtershmidt, sits the Griffin kids down for a look at his family genealogy, a dark secret is uncovered.

    Director:Scott Wood

    Writers:Matt Weitzman, Mike Barker

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    Director:Scott Wood

    Writers:Matt Weitzman, Mike Barker
15. 

    7.5/10(2249 votes)

    #15 - Ready, Willing, and Disabled

    S3:E1512/20/2001

    Joe gets discouraged, losing his self-confidence, after he loses a thief in a chase. Peter wants to help Joe get back to his old self so he volunteers to help train him for the decathlon at the Olympics for handicapped athletes. Peter puts steroids into Joe's drink, pushing Joe on to victory. Meanwhile, Stewie, Meg, and Brian fight over $26.

    Directors:Pete Michels, Andi Klein

    Writers:Alex Barnow, Marc Firek

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    Directors:Pete Michels, Andi Klein

    Writers:Alex Barnow, Marc Firek
16. 

    7.6/10(2445 votes)

    #16 - A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas

    S3:E1612/21/2001

    Christmas comes to Quahog! While Lois attempt to make the holidays perfect for the Griffin family, Peter messes it up. Meanwhile, Stewie learns of Santa Claus’ ability to keep 24-hour surveillance on all the world’s children.

    Directors:Pete Michels, Brian Hogan

    Writer:Danny Smith

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    Directors:Pete Michels, Brian Hogan

    Writer:Danny Smith
17. 

    7.5/10(2425 votes)

    #17 - Brian Wallows and Peter's Swallows

    S3:E171/17/2002

    Brian is sentenced to care for a crabby old woman; Peter's beard becomes a home for birds.

    Directors:Pete Michels, Dan Povenmire

    Writer:Ali Adler

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    Directors:Pete Michels, Dan Povenmire

    Writer:Ali Adler
18. 

    7.4/10(2233 votes)

    #18 - From Method to Madness

    S3:E181/24/2002

    Stewie attempts a career in show business; Meg dates a nudist.

    Director:Bert Ring

    Writers:Matt Weitzman, Mike Barker

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    Director:Bert Ring

    Writers:Matt Weitzman, Mike Barker
19. 

    7.6/10(2199 votes)

    #19 - Stuck Together, Torn Apart

    S3:E191/31/2002

    Peter's jealously forces a trial separation; Stewie and Brian get glued together.

    Director:Michael Dante DiMartino

    Writer:Mark Hentemann

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    Director:Michael Dante DiMartino

    Writer:Mark Hentemann
20. 

    7.8/10(2385 votes)

    #20 - Road to Europe

    S3:E202/7/2002

    Stewie goes to England to take refuge in his favorite television show, while Lois embarrasses Peter at a KISS concert.

    Director:Dan Povenmire

    Writer:Daniel Palladino

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    Director:Dan Povenmire

    Writer:Daniel Palladino
21. 

    7.4/10(2302 votes)

    #21 - Family Guy Viewer Mail #1

    S3:E212/14/2002

    Viewer mail inspires three stories in which Peter loses his bones, the Griffins gain superpowers, and Peter and his friends appear as eight-year-old "Little Rascals."

    Directors:Pete Michels, Michael Dante DiMartino, Scott Wood

    Writers:Seth MacFarlane, Jim Bernstein, Gene Laufenberg, Michael Shipley

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    Directors:Pete Michels, Michael Dante DiMartino, Scott Wood

    Writers:Seth MacFarlane, Jim Bernstein, Gene Laufenberg, Michael Shipley
22. 

    7.3/10(2297 votes)

    #22 - When You Wish Upon a Weinstein

    S3:E2212/10/2004

    The day that Peter buys volcano insurance is the day that Lois becomes fed up with their constant money problems.

    Director:Dan Povenmire

    Writer:Ricky Blitt

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    Director:Dan Povenmire

    Writer:Ricky Blitt