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The Best Episodes of Family Guy Season 12

Every episode of Family Guy Season 12 ranked from best to worst. Discover the Best Episodes of Family Guy Season 12!

Binge this in 7h 42m•Peaking at 7.6/10

Sick, twisted, politically incorrect and Freakin' Sweet animated series featuring the adventures of the dysfunctional Griffin family. Bumbling Peter and long-suffering Lois have three kids. Stewie (a brilliant but sadistic baby bent on killing his

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Episode Rankings

  1. #1 Fan Favorite
    Family Guy Season 12 Episode 8 - Christmas Guy
    7.6/10(2342 votes)

    S12:E8

    When Carter Pewterschmidt cancels the annual Quahog Christmas carnival, because he hates the holiday, Peter must transform his father-in-law from a Scrooge into a hometown hero in order to salvage the event. Meanwhile, Stewie devises a master plan to get the one and only thing he wants for Christmas.

    Director:Greg Colton
    Writer:Patrick Meighan

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  2. Family Guy Season 12 Episode 3 - Quagmire's Quagmire
    7.1/10(1966 votes)

    S12:E3

    Quagmire dates a woman named Sonja, who is just as sexually active as he is, but things take a turn for the worse when she kidnaps him to be her sex slave, so Peter, Joe and Ida must search the seedy back alleys of Quahog to rescue him. In the meantime, Brian, Stewie and Rupert get involved in a most unusual love triangle.

    Director:Pete Michels
    Writer:Cherry Chevapravatdumrong

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  3. Family Guy Season 12 Episode 19 - Meg Stinks!
    7.1/10(1581 votes)

    S12:E19

    Meg has fun partying with Peter when he takes her to a college for an interview. Brian must learn how to live in the wild when he gets sprayed by a skunk and is prohibited from entering the house.

    Director:Bob Bowen
    Writer:Danny Smith

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  4. Family Guy Season 12 Episode 20 - He's Bla-ack!
    7.1/10(1612 votes)

    S12:E20

    Cleveland returns to town, but is instantly banned from spending time with Peter when Lois and Donna get into a big fight over parenting.

    Director:Steve Robertson
    Writer:Julius Sharpe

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  5. Family Guy Season 12 Episode 10 - Grimm Job
    7.0/10(1838 votes)

    S12:E10

    From Grimm to Griffin, three classic fairy tales get a new Quahog spin, including "Jack and the Beanstalk," "Little Red Riding Hood" and "Cinderella."

    Director:Joe Vaux
    Writer:Alec Sulkin

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  6. Family Guy Season 12 Episode 21 - Chap Stewie
    7.0/10(1595 votes)

    S12:E21

    When Peter and Chris interrupt Stewie's TV time, the angry baby goes back in time to break up Peter and Lois so he's never conceived, but is shocked when he is reborn into a "Downton Abbey"-esque British household.

    Director:Joe Vaux
    Writers:Artie Johann, Shawn Ries

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  7. Family Guy Season 12 Episode 1 - Finders Keepers
    6.9/10(2051 votes)

    S12:E1

    Peter is convinced that a restaurant placemat is a treasure map. Word quickly spreads about the alleged cache, sparking a city-wide search and turning the citizens of Quahog against each other.

    Director:John Holmquist
    Writers:Anthony Blasucci, Mike Desilets

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  8. Family Guy Season 12 Episode 17 - The Most Interesting Man in the World
    6.9/10(1625 votes)

    S12:E17

    When Peter takes Stewie to the park for some quality father-son time, he mistakenly takes the wrong baby home, prompting Lois to call him an idiot. Determined to prove to her that he's a responsible adult, Peter goes on a business trip to Chicago and returns as an intelligent, classy person.

    Director:Joseph Lee
    Writer:Tom Devanney

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  9. Family Guy Season 12 Episode 15 - Secondhand Spoke
    6.8/10(1612 votes)

    S12:E15

    Peter takes up smoking cigarettes, and is approached by Mr. Stone, an advertising executive who wants Peter to be the face of his anti-smoking campaign under the caveat that Peter continues to smoke. Meanwhile, Stewie helps Chris battle bullies at school.

    Director:Julius Wu
    Writers:David Wright, David Ihlenfeld

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  10. Family Guy Season 12 Episode 4 - A Fistful of Meg
    6.7/10(1915 votes)

    S12:E4

    When Meg spills her lunch on the new kid at school, he makes plans to end her. Meanwhile, Peter keeps harassing Brian in the nude until it reaches the breaking point.

    Director:Joe Vaux
    Writers:Dominic Bianchi, Joe Vaux

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  11. Family Guy Season 12 Episode 18 - Baby Got Black
    6.7/10(1630 votes)

    S12:E18

    Chris is forbidden to see Jerome's daughter Pam, so when the kids run away together, Jerome and Peter must work together to find them.

    Director:Brian Iles
    Writers:Travis Bowe, Kevin Biggins

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  12. Family Guy Season 12 Episode 9 - Peter Problems
    6.6/10(1752 votes)

    S12:E9

    When Peter gets fired for crashing a forklift into a business meeting, Lois takes a job at the grocery store while Peter becomes a stay-at-home dad — which leads to poor bedroom performance.

    Director:Bob Bowen
    Writer:Teresa Hsiao

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  13. Family Guy Season 12 Episode 5 - Boopa-Dee Bappa-Dee
    6.5/10(1838 votes)

    S12:E5

    The Griffins go to Italy and are faced with annoying immigration laws after Peter destroys their passports.

    Director:Mike Kim
    Writer:Wellesley Wild

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  14. Family Guy Season 12 Episode 7 - Into Harmony's Way
    6.5/10(2324 votes)

    S12:E7

    When Peter and Quagmire discover that their singing voices create beautiful harmony together, they form a singing/songwriting team, in the vein of Simon and Garfunkel. However, tensions run high when fame gets to Peter's head.

    Director:Brian Iles
    Writer:Julius Sharpe

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  15. Family Guy Season 12 Episode 13 - 3 Acts of God
    6.5/10(1659 votes)

    S12:E13

    Peter grows frustrated when players on opposing teams continue to thank God after defeating his beloved New England Patriots football team, so he and the guys embark on a global quest to find God and ask Him to stop interfering with the outcome of professional football games.

    Director:Bob Bowen
    Writer:Alec Sulkin

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  16. Family Guy Season 12 Episode 12 - Mom's the Word
    6.3/10(1674 votes)

    S12:E12

    When Peter's mother dies, he befriends her longtime pal Evelyn, who tries to seduce him. In the meantime, Stewie feels despair upon dealing with the realities of death.

    Director:John Holmquist
    Writer:Ted Jessup

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  17. Family Guy Season 12 Episode 11 - Brian's a Bad Father
    6.0/10(1800 votes)

    S12:E11

    Brian tries to use Dylan's television connections to further his career.

    Director:Jerry Langford
    Writer:Chris Sheridan

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  18. Family Guy Season 12 Episode 2 - Vestigial Peter
    5.8/10(2171 votes)

    S12:E2

    After a vestigial twin grows out of Peter's neck, which he names Chip, he eventually starts realizing that people like Chip more than they like him, so Peter has him amputated. However, after Peter gets into trouble, he realizes he needs Chip more than ever.

    Director:Julius Wu
    Writer:Brian Scully

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  19. Family Guy Season 12 Episode 16 - Herpe, the Love Sore
    5.7/10(1827 votes)

    S12:E16

    Brian gives Stewie an STD. Meanwhile, Peter and the guys fight back when another group claims their booth at The Drunken Clam.

    Director:Greg Colton
    Writer:Andrew Goldberg

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  20. Family Guy Season 12 Episode 14 - Fresh Heir
    5.3/10(1875 votes)

    S12:E14

    Chris becomes the heir to Carter's fortune but refuses to accept the money; Peter desperately tries to keep the wealth in the family.

    Director:Mike Kim
    Writer:Steve Callaghan

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  21. Family Guy Season 12 Episode 6 - Life of Brian
    4.8/10(3760 votes)

    S12:E6

    Stewie and Brian travel back in time to 17th-century Jamestown and make too many close calls with changing history. Stewie decides to destroy his time machine, but comes to regret it when Brian dies after being hit by a car. Devastated by his death, the Griffin family goes out and adopts another dog from the pet store, Vinnie, who is quickly accepted by all the members of the Griffin family, other than Stewie, who can't get over the loss of Brian.

    Director:Joseph Lee
    Writer:Alex Carter

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Season 12 Ratings Summary

"Christmas Guy" is the best rated episode of "Family Guy" season 12. It scored 7.6/10 based on 2342 votes. Directed by Greg Colton and written by Patrick Meighan, it aired on 12/15/2013. This episode is rated 0.5 points higher than the second-best, "Quagmire's Quagmire".