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The Best Episodes of Two and a Half Men Season 7

Every episode of Two and a Half Men Season 7 ranked from best to worst. Discover the Best Episodes of Two and a Half Men Season 7!

Binge this in 7h 32m•Peaking at 8.5/10

A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house.

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Episode Rankings

  1. #1 Fan Favorite
    Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 1 - 818-JKLPUZO
    8.1/10(1598 votes)

    #1 - 818-JKLPUZO

    S7:E1

    Charlie must make a difficult decision about his future and with which woman he wants to spend his life: Chelsea or Mia.

    Director:James Widdoes
    Writers:Don Foster, Eddie Gorodetsky, Lee Aronsohn, Susan Beavers, Chuck Lorre

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  2. Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 2 - Whipped Unto the Third Generation
    7.8/10(1374 votes)

    #2 - Whipped Unto the Third Generation

    S7:E2

    When Chelsea convinces Charlie to let Alan's new girlfriend, Melissa, move in, the girls end up taking over Charlie's house.

    Director:James Widdoes
    Writer:Unknown

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  3. Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 3 - Mmm, Fish. Yum.
    7.6/10(1326 votes)

    #3 - Mmm, Fish. Yum.

    S7:E3

    Alan ends up playing maid to Judith's new baby as well as his former mother-in-law. Meanwhile, Jake uses an incriminating photo to blackmail Charlie.

    Director:James Widdoes
    Writers:Don Foster, Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre

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  4. Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 4 - Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator
    7.6/10(1304 votes)

    #4 - Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator

    S7:E4

    Alan starts working for Evelyn as Charlie works to fix the relationship between Chelsea and Jake.

    Director:James Widdoes
    Writers:Eddie Gorodetsky, Susan Beavers

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  5. Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 5 - For the Sake of the Child
    7.6/10(1346 votes)

    #5 - For the Sake of the Child

    S7:E5

    Jake stops at nothing to get away from Charlie and Alan, after they embarrass him out in public.

    Director:James Widdoes
    Writers:Don Foster, Jim Patterson, Chuck Lorre

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  6. Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 6 - Give Me Your Thumb
    7.9/10(1340 votes)

    #6 - Give Me Your Thumb

    S7:E6

    Alan's advice to Chelsea that she get breast-reduction surgery is not met with enthusiasm by Charlie, who kicks him out, but staying with Evelyn has its own challenges.

    Director:James Widdoes
    Writer:Unknown

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  7. Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 7 - Untainted by Filth
    7.9/10(1376 votes)

    #7 - Untainted by Filth

    S7:E7

    Alan and Charlie are shocked when they wake up next to a strange woman, and try to find out what happened.

    Director:James Widdoes
    Writer:Unknown

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  8. Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 8 - Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.
    8.5/10(1874 votes)

    #8 - Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.

    S7:E8

    While overcoming a bad break-up, Chelsea invites her beautiful college roommate to stay at the house.

    Director:James Widdoes
    Writer:Unknown

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  9. Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 9 - Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair
    7.7/10(1315 votes)

    #9 - Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair

    S7:E9

    While Alan struggles to cure his baldness, Charlie deals with the problem that he can't satisfy Chelsea.

    Director:James Widdoes
    Writer:Unknown

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  10. Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 10 - That's Why They Call It "Ball Room"
    7.9/10(1307 votes)

    #10 - That's Why They Call It "Ball Room"

    S7:E10

    Chelsea wants Charlie to take dancing lessons for the wedding, when Charlie uncovers the truth that Chelsea has been lying about her finances.

    Director:James Widdoes
    Writer:Unknown

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  11. Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 - Warning, It's Dirty
    7.9/10(1389 votes)

    #11 - Warning, It's Dirty

    S7:E11

    Jake is taught the art of infidelity by Charlie, while Celeste is away for Christmas.

    Director:James Widdoes
    Writers:Don Foster, Eddie Gorodetsky, Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre

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  12. Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 12 - Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste
    7.8/10(1312 votes)

    #12 - Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste

    S7:E12

    Jake hopes to win back Celeste by writing her love songs. Alan and Herb hope to keep Judith from finding out they've become friends.

    Director:James Widdoes
    Writer:Unknown

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  13. Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 13 - Yay, No Polyps!
    7.8/10(1325 votes)

    #13 - Yay, No Polyps!

    S7:E13

    Charlie opts to have a colonoscopy in order to avoid going on a trip with Chelsea to see her parents. However, when he returns home, he finds her parents at his house.

    Director:James Widdoes
    Writer:Unknown

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  14. Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 14 - Crude and Uncalled For
    7.5/10(1286 votes)

    #14 - Crude and Uncalled For

    S7:E14

    Charlie suspects Chelsea likes the lawyer representing Alan after his arrest for a bar fight.

    Director:James Widdoes
    Writers:Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre

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  15. Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 15 - Aye, Aye, Captain Douche
    7.5/10(1292 votes)

    #15 - Aye, Aye, Captain Douche

    S7:E15

    Chelsea and Charlie's relationship is at risk when Charlie's jealousy comes between them.

    Director:James Widdoes
    Writers:Lee Aronsohn, Susan Beavers, Chuck Lorre

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  16. Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 16 - Tinkle Like a Princess
    7.6/10(1309 votes)

    #16 - Tinkle Like a Princess

    S7:E16

    Charlie runs off to Vegas and returns with a new wife, but she's not Chelsea.

    Director:James Widdoes
    Writers:Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre

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  17. Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 17 - I Found Your Moustache
    7.4/10(1270 votes)

    #17 - I Found Your Moustache

    S7:E17

    Charlie and Chelsea have a post-breakup one-night stand.

    Director:James Widdoes
    Writers:Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre

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  18. Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 18 - Ixnay on the Oggie Day
    8.2/10(1394 votes)

    #18 - Ixnay on the Oggie Day

    S7:E18

    Charlie has a return engagement with Chelsea's best friend, while Alan has an unexpected effect on a new female patient.

    Director:James Widdoes
    Writers:Don Foster, Eddie Gorodetsky, Jim Patterson

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  19. Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 19 - Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave
    7.7/10(1273 votes)

    #19 - Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave

    S7:E19

    Alan is torn between the bad influence of Jake's new friend and the hotness of his mother.

    Director:James Widdoes
    Writers:Eddie Gorodetsky, Jim Patterson

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  20. Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 20 - I Called Him Magoo
    7.6/10(1340 votes)

    #20 - I Called Him Magoo

    S7:E20

    Alan tries for an intimate night at a hotel with his new girlfriend, while Charlie takes a different approach to obtain the "girlfriend experience"

    Director:James Widdoes
    Writers:Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre

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  21. Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 21 - Gumby with a Pokey
    7.9/10(1395 votes)

    #21 - Gumby with a Pokey

    S7:E21

    Charlie is visited by the ghosts of his ex-girlfriends while Alan and Jake are on a road trip.

    Director:James Widdoes
    Writers:Dave Richardson, Lee Aronsohn, Susan Beavers, Chuck Lorre

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  22. Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 22 - This Is Not Gonna End Well
    7.8/10(1307 votes)

    #22 - This Is Not Gonna End Well

    S7:E22

    Charlie is miffed over Alan's planned attendance of Chelsea's birthday party and suffers the indignity of having Jake chauffer him around following a license suspension.

    Director:Lee Aronsohn
    Writers:Don Foster, Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre

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Season 7 Ratings Summary

"818-JKLPUZO" is the best rated episode of "Two and a Half Men" season 7. It scored 8.1/10 based on 1598 votes. Directed by James Widdoes and written by Don Foster, Eddie Gorodetsky, Lee Aronsohn, Susan Beavers, Chuck Lorre, it aired on 9/21/2009. This episode is rated 0.3 points higher than the second-best, "Whipped Unto the Third Generation".