The Worst Episodes of Open All Hours

Episode Rankings

1. #1 Worst Episode
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   7.6/10(168 votes)

   #1 - Full of Mysterious Promise

   S1:E12/20/1976

   Stuttering shopkeeper Albert Arkwright, assisted by his much put-upon nephew Granville, runs the corner shop in a Doncaster suburb, boasting that it's open all hours. When not pursuing Gladys Emmanuel, the district nurse who lives opposite the shop, Arkwright is ever on the lookout to save money, such as buying a load of fire-damaged tinned food. Unfortunately, the damage means that all the labels have come off so nobody knows exactly what they're meant to be buying.

   Director:Sydney Lotterby

   Writer:Roy Clarke

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   Director:Sydney Lotterby

   Writer:Roy Clarke
2. 

   7.6/10(98 votes)

   #2 - Duet for Solo Bicycle

   S3:E34/4/1982

   When a posh man arrives for directions, Arkwright is concerned that Nurse Gladys is seeing another whilst Granville's love life is also suffering. It is bad enough that when he accompanies Wendy, he only has a bike with which to impress her — but the bike has a squeak, which he can't get rid of.

   Director:Sydney Lotterby

   Writer:Roy Clarke

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   Director:Sydney Lotterby

   Writer:Roy Clarke
3. 

   7.7/10(105 votes)

   #3 - Arkwright's Mobile Store

   S2:E53/29/1981

   In an effort to convince Nurse Gladys that he's a man of enterprise, Arkwright decides to invest in a mobile shop, to be driven around by Granville. However, given his customary stinginess, the best that he can come up with is an old ice cream van, leading to Granville having a close encounter with some perishables.

   Director:Sydney Lotterby

   Writer:Roy Clarke

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   Director:Sydney Lotterby

   Writer:Roy Clarke
4. 

   7.7/10(108 votes)

   #4 - St Albert's Day

   S2:E74/19/1981

   Arkwright has always told Granville his father was a Hungarian but then a real Hungarian comes into the shop. Could it be him? Arkwright is more concerned that he may be a shoplifter and hits on a cunning plan to part him from his jacket so that he can search the pockets for evidence. Welcome to the mythical feast day of St Albert!

   Director:Sydney Lotterby

   Writer:Roy Clarke

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   Director:Sydney Lotterby

   Writer:Roy Clarke
5. 

   7.7/10(103 votes)

   #5 - An Errand Boy by the Ear

   S3:E13/21/1982

   There are protests when Arkwright is caught dragging Granville around by his ear. Whilst Arkwright reasons that this is what errand boys are for, the customers choose to differ and force Arkwright to improve his nephew's lot in life.

   Director:Sydney Lotterby

   Writer:Roy Clarke

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   Director:Sydney Lotterby

   Writer:Roy Clarke
6. 

   7.7/10(103 votes)

   #6 - The Errand Boy Executive

   S4:E49/22/1985

   Anxious to impress boutique girl Stephanie ('with a P-H!'), Granville passes himself off as a young executive, claiming that Arkwright is his junior assistant. Unsurprisingly, his uncle is less than happy with this idea.

   Director:Sydney Lotterby

   Writer:Roy Clarke

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   Director:Sydney Lotterby

   Writer:Roy Clarke
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7. 

   7.8/10(130 votes)

   #7 - A Mattress on Wheels

   S1:E22/27/1976

   Fed up with having to do deliveries in all weathers on his bike, Granville suggests Arkwright invest in a van. Needless to say, his uncle balks at the expense until Granville points out that it could be a mattress on wheels, a means of impressing Nurse Gladys. Arkwright buys a secondhand one and Granville wishes he hadn't when he takes it out on the road.

   Director:Sydney Lotterby

   Writer:Roy Clarke

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   Director:Sydney Lotterby

   Writer:Roy Clarke
8. 

   7.8/10(131 votes)

   #8 - A Nice Cosy Little Disease

   S1:E33/5/1976

   Arkwright feels that Nurse Gladys has been neglecting him and, in order to get her undivided attention, he must come down with a 'disease', nothing too serious, just something that'll have her lavishing attention on him. She sees through the ruse and is ready to beat him at his own game.

   Director:Sydney Lotterby

   Writer:Roy Clarke

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   Director:Sydney Lotterby

   Writer:Roy Clarke
9. 

   7.8/10(111 votes)

   #9 - The New Suit

   S2:E43/22/1981

   Nurse Gladys has forced Arkwright to buy a new suit because she's tired of being seen around with him in a shabby suit.

   Director:Sydney Lotterby

   Writer:Roy Clarke

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   Director:Sydney Lotterby

   Writer:Roy Clarke
10. 

    7.8/10(101 votes)

    #10 - How to Ignite Your Errand Boy

    S3:E44/11/1982

    Arkwright considers yet another money-making scheme. Everybody seems to want fire-lighters in the winter so he can save cash by making his own — or rather getting Granville to make them in the shed at the back... with explosive results.

    Director:Sydney Lotterby

    Writer:Roy Clarke

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    Director:Sydney Lotterby

    Writer:Roy Clarke
11. 

    7.8/10(92 votes)

    #11 - The Housekeeper Caper

    S4:E39/15/1985

    Arkwright believes that he can make Nurse Gladys jealous if he has a live-in housekeeper. This only succeeds in attracting the attention of Mrs Featherstone, the Black Widow herself!

    Director:Sydney Lotterby

    Writer:Roy Clarke

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    Director:Sydney Lotterby

    Writer:Roy Clarke
12. 

    7.8/10(92 votes)

    #12 - Happy Birthday, Arkwright

    S4:E59/29/1985

    Nurse Gladys and Granville play a trick on Arkwright, persuading the shopkeeper that a man representing the Good Shopkeepers' Guide is in the area, awarding bonuses to shops whose staff show extra courtesy. Gladys goes undercover as a male inspector and visits, where she is greeted with unusual civility.

    Director:Sydney Lotterby

    Writer:Roy Clarke

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    Director:Sydney Lotterby

    Writer:Roy Clarke
13. 

    7.9/10(123 votes)

    #13 - Laundry Blues

    S2:E13/1/1981

    Nurse Gladys feels sorry for Granville, struggling to do the laundry by hand, and suggests to Arkwright that he buy a washing machine. Arkwright wants Gladys' affections but doesn't want to spend too much money, so he ensures that she sees a brand-new machine being delivered — which is then taken away and replaced by an elderly secondhand one.

    Director:Sydney Lotterby

    Writer:Roy Clarke

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    Director:Sydney Lotterby

    Writer:Roy Clarke
14. 

    7.9/10(112 votes)

    #14 - Fig Biscuits and Inspirational Toilet Rolls

    S2:E33/18/1981

    Whilst Granville moans about the shop opening at dawn, Arkwright bewails his inability to sell a load of fig biscuits and toilet rolls imprinted with biblical texts. The opportunity arises when Mavis mistakes the sepulchral voice of Granville in the cellar for a ghost advising her what to buy but unfortunately for Arkwright, he falls through the open trapdoor and breaks his leg.

    Director:Sydney Lotterby

    Writer:Roy Clarke

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    Director:Sydney Lotterby

    Writer:Roy Clarke
15. 

    7.9/10(90 votes)

    #15 - Horse-Trading

    S4:E29/8/1985

    Arkwright has a rival: corner shop owner Mr Gupta, so he sends Granville undercover – in a sari – to check him out. Arkwright believes he can get one over on his rival by selling him a load of genuine Yorkshire clotheshorses but he has reckoned without Gupta's business skills.

    Director:Sydney Lotterby

    Writer:Roy Clarke

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    Director:Sydney Lotterby

    Writer:Roy Clarke
16. 

    8.0/10(115 votes)

    #16 - Well Catered Funeral

    S1:E53/19/1976

    Arkwright goes with Nurse Gladys to the funeral of his friend Parslow. He's not keen to leave Granville in charge but it affords the opportunity to get rid of some unwanted bakery products for the wake. Having rung the shop constantly to ensure that Granville has got things under control, he later tells him he should get out more — as this'll give Arkwright more opportunity with Nurse Gladys.

    Director:Sydney Lotterby

    Writer:Roy Clarke

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    Director:Sydney Lotterby

    Writer:Roy Clarke
17. 

    8.0/10(120 votes)

    #17 - Apples and Self Service

    S1:E63/26/1976

    Arkwright has bought too many apples and desperately tries in vain to persuade each successive customer to buy some. After raising eyebrows around town after finding a pair of shop window dummy's legs, Granville tells his uncle he should adopt the personal touch in his sales methods. Arkwright, however, plumps for self-service and then suspects everyone of shoplifting.

    Director:Sydney Lotterby

    Writer:Roy Clarke

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    Director:Sydney Lotterby

    Writer:Roy Clarke
18. 

    8.0/10(109 votes)

    #18 - The Man from Down Under

    S3:E54/18/1982

    Arkwright learns that a former beau of Nurse Gladys' is returning from Australia, where he emigrated a couple decades ago to make his fortune. Naturally, Arkwright is disheartened to think that Gladys might be tempted by her old flame and sets about to take drastic action with the man he believes to be his rival.

    Director:Sydney Lotterby

    Writer:Roy Clarke

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    Director:Sydney Lotterby

    Writer:Roy Clarke
19. 

    8.0/10(105 votes)

    #19 - The Cool Cocoa Tin Lid

    S3:E64/25/1982

    Fed up with tank-tops and shop pinnies, Granville decides to court a cool image. He gets a pair of shades and a nice fashionable shirt, but all that stops him from being the archetypal medallion man is a medallion. Perhaps a cocoa tin lid can provide a substitute.

    Director:Sydney Lotterby

    Writer:Roy Clarke

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    Director:Sydney Lotterby

    Writer:Roy Clarke
20. 

    8.0/10(99 votes)

    #20 - Soulmate Wanted

    S4:E19/1/1985

    Granville decides it's high time he did something about his single status and places an advert in the lonely hearts column. He actually gets a result but of course he feels he has to lie about himself to the girl in question and presents himself as a yuppie. Leave it to his beloved uncle to ruin it for him.

    Director:Sydney Lotterby

    Writer:Roy Clarke

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    Director:Sydney Lotterby

    Writer:Roy Clarke
21. 

    8.1/10(129 votes)

    #21 - Beware of the Dog

    S1:E43/12/1976

    When a crime wave hits the area, Arkwright decides to scare off any potential burglars by putting up a notice that says BEWARE OF THE DOG but, since everybody knows that he has no dog, he goes out to borrow one for the weekend from the local kennels.

    Director:Sydney Lotterby

    Writer:Roy Clarke

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    Director:Sydney Lotterby

    Writer:Roy Clarke
22. 

    8.1/10(108 votes)

    #22 - Shedding at the Wedding

    S2:E64/5/1981

    To the envy of Granville who has never attended one, Arkwright is taking Nurse Gladys to a wedding and has taken his old suit out of mothballs, but it still reeks of camphor. Gladys makes him hang it out of the car window as they drive along but the trousers end up under a tractor's wheels.

    Director:Sydney Lotterby

    Writer:Roy Clarke

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    Director:Sydney Lotterby

    Writer:Roy Clarke
23. 

    8.1/10(96 votes)

    #23 - The Mystical Boudoir of Nurse Gladys Emmanuel

    S4:E610/6/1985

    Ever persistent to worm his way into Nurse Gladys' bedroom as well as her affections, Arkwright finds that flattery and chocolates are no use. But he's got a cunning plan to use Granville to impersonate a burglar, wearing a stocking mask to scare Gladys so that Arkwright can come running... into her room.

    Director:Sydney Lotterby

    Writer:Roy Clarke

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    Director:Sydney Lotterby

    Writer:Roy Clarke
24. 

    8.2/10(129 votes)

    #24 - The Reluctant Traveller

    S2:E23/8/1981

    Arkwright decides to take Nurse Gladys to a hotel, leaving Granville in a position to make his play for the milk round lady. However, Arkwright, hands on as ever and never keen to be too far away from the shop, has booked himself and Gladys into a hotel just round the corner — where he has problems with an extra-tight money belt.

    Director:Sydney Lotterby

    Writer:Roy Clarke

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    Director:Sydney Lotterby

    Writer:Roy Clarke
25. 

    8.3/10(117 votes)

    #25 - The Ginger Men

    S3:E23/28/1982

    When Arkwright finds himself with a surplus of Jamaican Ginger cakes, he tries various marketing ploys to sell them off, but hits the jackpot when he claims that the cakes contain drugs, leading customers fighting to get at them.

    Director:Sydney Lotterby

    Writer:Roy Clarke

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    Director:Sydney Lotterby

    Writer:Roy Clarke