When Alf is given a cordless telephone, it turns out to be more of hindrance than help.

Rita buys Alf a secondhand jacket, and when he notices it's covered in medals, he uses the stolen valor to try to gain all sorts of favours under false pretences. He also receives a visit from canvassing politicians.

When Rita and Winston come in at night making a noise, Camille decides to start locking the flats' door at 10:30. But can Alf make it back from the pub in time?

Having complained about his failing eyesight – and just about everything else – Alf takes Else out in her wheelchair and buys her a cornet whilst avoiding giving money to the vicar. However, his poor sight proves his undoing when he accidentally goes into a ladies' toilet and is arrested as a sex pest.

Alf and Camille are preparing for a trip to Australia to meet her rich brother, in the hope that he'll lend them money to buy their house cheap off the council once married. Alf, ever the romantic, persuades Arthur, as best man, to accompany them so he can have someone to talk to (Camille doesn't count). It could also have something to do with the fact that Alf is terrified of making the trip.

Alf enjoys his newfound wealth and indulges in some of his hobbies: eating, drinking and looking after himself! In between, he tries to resist Min's amorous advances and foil the suspicious bank manager.

Alf tests the patience of the good-natured Johnsons from next door by using their phone to make a very long-winded long distance call to Rita. After expounding upon funerals in the pub, Alf repays Mr Johnson by buying him so many drinks he falls over. Meanwhile, Alf's homeward progress pushing Else in her wheelchair ends in drunken calamity.

Now wealthy, Alf sees life in a new way. The bank manager is curious as to how Alf acquired his money. Alf enters a private hospital to spend his money before he dies.

Alf's joy at Rita's pending divorce is short lived when he learns she is to live with the new doctor.

The arrival of Alf's AIDS leaflets spurs him and Arthur into action to aid Mary Whitehouse.

Alf and Camille are now engaged to be married and Alf has already started to enjoy her cooking. They treat Arthur, who thinks he's won the pools, to a celebration dinner. Naturally, Alf has to remind Arthur who his best friend is, as best friends share everything.

Alf and Else Garnett are back in London. Else is severely arthritic and can barely walk and Alf extols the joys of the wheelchair has got her — until he has to push her around in it. With so many cars parked on the pavement, he uses the middle of the road, incurring a motorist's wrath. It gets him access to sports matches — at least until he spoils it for himself.

Alf returns from the funeral of Else, his long-suffering wife. Having lost her disability allowance of E30 and half the pension, life ahead is not too rosy.

Fed up with everybody having a Sunday roast except him, Alf makes his first trip to market. But he's forgotten he can't cook.

Encouraged by Arthur, Alf continues to pursue Camille, even getting down on one knee to propose though she wants time to think. After a night at the pub, a surprise engagement party is thrown for the still undecided couple, but when Camille learns that, as husband and wife, they could buy the house for a fifth of its worth, she's quick to accept.

Alf, Camille and Arthur have a day sightseeing, starting in a cafe where Alf defends Hitler. After Alf has rowed with a lazy lifeguard over a non-existent drowning victim, the trio take a boat trip and Alf soon discovers that he and his bride-to-be hold a variety of differing views. As far as Alf is concerned, one thing is for sure though: Australians are descended from convicts and they are still not to be trusted.

Tired of pushing Else around in her chair, Alf looks into an electric scooter but they cost £2,500 and Social Security informs Alf that, as long as he's able to push, Else is ineligible. Taking an idea from some go-karting kids, Alf adds jet propulsion to the chair, which goes out of control, foiling a bank robbery and landing him in hospital. He's declared a hero but, following Winston's view that the robbers' accomplices may be out to get him, decides to remain anonymous.

The Australian journey comes to an end as Alf, Camille and Arthur realise that Ricky is not all that they thought.

Initially delighted when summoned for jury service, Alf becomes increasingly paranoid that he is being stalked.

As jury service draws closer, Alf is worried about the possibility of revenge from the criminal fraternity.

Alf forgets his pass and is unable to get on the bus. The following day, he arranges a day trip for a group of OAP's who, armed with their passes, commandeer a bus.

After holding forth on moral issues, Alf goes to the pub where the big news is that Mr. Johnson's wife has left him for her lesbian lover. To make matters worse, she intends to move her into the marital home. Alf, of course, blames the French for introducing permissiveness into the country and ends up threatened by Mrs. Johnson for his pains.

Gwenneth and Min come to visit Alf, and hold a seancé to communicate with some long departed friends.

Alf has a fight at a tea dance and meets up again with his adversary outside his house.

On a boiling hot summer day, Alf goes to Social Security to complain that he should've had more money in last winter's heating allowance to no avail. Back home, he joins his friends watching cricket on television and falls asleep, loudly dreaming that he has been knighted for his services to the game.