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The Best Episodes of History Bites

Every episode of History Bites ranked from best to worst. Let's dive into the Best Episodes of History Bites!

History Bites was a television series on the History Television network that ran from 1998-2003. Created by Rick Green, History Bites explored what would be on television if the medium had been around for the

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  1. #1 Fan Favorite
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    History Bites Season 1 Episode 1 - The Black Death
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    #1 - The Black Death

    S1:E1

    The greatest medical disaster in Western History is seen through the eyes of television. Featuring news updates on the spread of the plague, as well as How-To shows on avoiding the plague, Martha Stewart's plague tips, a Dating Game to help repopulate the empty countryside, and Letterman's Top Ten Recruiting Slogans of the Flagellants.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  2. History Bites Season 4 Episode 1 - The Day The Island Stood Still
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    #2 - The Day The Island Stood Still

    S4:E1

    It's the discovery of America from the perspective of the Americans who were discovered. The Arawak view of Columbus' arrival as a sharp parody of the black and white sci-fi classic The Day The Earth Stood Still. Technologically superior creatures arrive in fantastic ships to offer the natives things they'd never imagined, such as disease, slavery, and destruction of their way of life.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  3. History Bites Season 4 Episode 2 - Love & Death
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    #3 - Love & Death

    S4:E2

    The incredible story of how German author/playwright Goethe's first novel, a romantic tragedy, inspired a wave of real-life suicides amongst Europe's upper classes. On ""The Rosie O'Donnell Show"" Goethe wants to talk about his newest work, an ambitious adaptation of Faust. Rosie wants to talk about his first big hit, The Sorrows of Werther, and the rabid fan reaction.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  4. History Bites Season 4 Episode 3 - Samurai Goodfellas
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    #4 - Samurai Goodfellas

    S4:E3

    One of the most enduring stories of Japanese history is the legendary tale of the 47 Ronin. When these Samurai lost their leader to a ritual suicide, or Seppuku, they became leaderless Samurai, known as Ronin. They vowed to avenge his death, before committing ritual suicide themselves. This tale of treachery and honour, in which a mob of tough guys avenge the death of their boss, is presented in a wicked parody of The Godfather.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  5. History Bites Season 4 Episode 4 - Who Killed J.F.C.?
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    #5 - Who Killed J.F.C.?

    S4:E4

    The assassination of Julius Caesar as seen through the mirror of the modern political assassinations. Twenty years after the tragedy, Nightline Ted Koppel interviews Roman Citizens who claim Caesar's assassination was NOT a vast government conspiracy, but actually the work of one lone assassin. They claim the government invented the whole Ides of March conspiracy to hide the truth, keep order, and maintain the status quo.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  6. History Bites Season 4 Episode 5 - The Uncivil War
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    #6 - The Uncivil War

    S4:E5

    The story behind President Abraham Lincoln's decision to issue the Emancipation Proclamation to give the Union forces the high moral ground in a brutal and bloody war is revealed in a parody of West Wing. As well, the Crocodile Hunter goes Slave Hunting in the old south, and the Discovery Channel looks at how marvelous new technologies like the telegraph, Iron Ships, and steam power, are being used to make war more efficient. Mass production leads to mass destruction.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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    The 20 WORST Episodes of History Bites

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  7. History Bites Season 4 Episode 6 - Temptation Monastery
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    #7 - Temptation Monastery

    S4:E6

    Sex & Scandal involving the church. Peter Abelard, a brilliant religious philosopher whose writings helped reform and strengthen the Medieval church, appears on the Howard Stern show. Peter wants to discuss his theories on biblical issues and the interpretation of Christ's works. Howard just wants to talk about how Peter was forcibly castrated for knocking up a church officials daughter.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  8. History Bites Season 4 Episode 7 - Francis & Me
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    #8 - Francis & Me

    S4:E7

    The second Upper Canada Rebellion lead by Scottish-born journalist & political rabblerouser William Lyon Mackenzie. A parody of Michael Moore, the rebellion becomes Roger & Me meets The Awful Truth meets a few hundred well-armed red-coats. Other early Canadian TV fare includes commercials, game shows, and a spoof of the Crocodile Hunter who's after the 19th Century's most elusive prey: ghosts.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  9. History Bites Season 4 Episode 8 - Terror For The Sake Of Terror
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    #9 - Terror For The Sake Of Terror

    S4:E8

    Oprah invites Ivan the Terrible on her show to talk about the reign of terror his black-shirted secret police have inflicted on Russians for the past 20 years, including the massacre 60,000 in Novgorod, and the murder of his own son. When Ivan proves reluctant to take ownership of his actions, and won't ""confront his issues"", Oprah brings in Healer Phil to bring closure to Ivan.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  10. History Bites Season 4 Episode 9 - Harpsichord Wizard
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    #10 - Harpsichord Wizard

    S4:E9

    In a spoof of every damn award show going, all of the hottest music stars gather to honour the recently deceased Ludwig Von Beethoven. The cream of the Romantic Era present awards, perform their symphonies, and gab with Joan Rivers on the red carpet outside the theatre. In a parody of the Elton John/Eminem duet, the anti-Semitic maestro Richard Wagner sings with converted Jewish composer Felix Mendelssohn.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  11. History Bites Season 4 Episode 10 - A Canterbury Murder Tale
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    #11 - A Canterbury Murder Tale

    S4:E10

    In the 12th century controversial clergyman Thomas Becket was struck down in his cathedral by knights loyal to King Henry II. It's a case of papal power vs. the kings power, separation of church and state, and jurisdiction in courts. The murder case is solved and prosecuted in a parody of Law & Order.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  12. History Bites Season 4 Episode 11 - Xena's Evil Sister
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    #12 - Xena's Evil Sister

    S4:E11

    A Celtic warrior queen proves to the Romans that women can be just as cruel and blood thirsty as men. In a wicked parody of Thelma and Louise, Boadicea and her daughters seek revenge for a rape by Roman soldiers, that leaves 70000 people dead.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  13. History Bites Season 4 Episode 12 - Kamikaze Save The Day
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    #13 - Kamikaze Save The Day

    S4:E12

    Live coverage of the the great typhoon that saved Japan from the invading armies of Kublai Khan. This incredible story of Mongols beaten by meteorology is presented in a droll spoof of The Weather Channel. We also tune in to ancient Japanese commercials, editorials, game shows, and a phone-in program on ritual suicide.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  14. History Bites Season 4 Episode 13 - Domestic Terrorism
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    #14 - Domestic Terrorism

    S4:E13

    The Gunpowder plot by Catholic dissidents makes the Oklahoma City bombing pale by comparison. Or it would have had it succeeded. This near-tragedy is more farce, with evidence that the whole thing was a government conspiracy to incite anti-Catholic sentiments. While the Guy Fawkes story dominates all of the Renaissance News channels, decorating maven Debbie Travis shows Catholics how to hide their priest from the authorities using false walls and a faux fireplace.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  15. History Bites Season 4 Episode 14 - Rock & Roll Has Got To Go!
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    #15 - Rock & Roll Has Got To Go!

    S4:E14

    Young people and their loud, sexy music! It's a story as old as Plato. In ancient Athens, Greek elders were outraged by the younger generations lack of interest in organized religion, their rejection of traditional beliefs, and their nerve jangling new music. Sounds and looks like Beatlemania. In this spoof of a Beatles documentary we learn about four real Greek musicians who championed a new kind of music, that celebrated wine, women, and song. Or wine, young men, and song.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  16. History Bites Season 4 Episode 15 - Where No White Man Has Gone Before
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    #16 - Where No White Man Has Gone Before

    S4:E15

    The Lewis & Clark expedition, the epic journey of the men who opened up the west for the whites and closed it for the Natives, as seen through a National Geographic-style documentary. Crews document the incredible journey into the unknown with all of it's bizarre but true twists. Channel surf to follow the other big story in 1804 America: the duel to the death between the Vice President of the United States and the Secretary of State!

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  17. History Bites Season 4 Episode 17 - Goodnight Good Knights
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    #17 - Goodnight Good Knights

    S4:E17

    A group who have dedicated themselves to charity and Christian works are suddenly accused of the vilest crimes imaginable. These crusading Christians known as the Knights Templar are rounded up by French authorities, and tortured into confessions. It's an unholy crusade against some holy crusaders, presented by Bill Kurtis on Medieval Justice.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  18. History Bites Season 4 Episode 18 - Stairway To Heaven
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    #18 - Stairway To Heaven

    S4:E18

    The ancient Emperor Nebuchadrezzar talks to Barbara Walters about his amazing Hanging Gardens, his vast new empire, and his plans to rebuild the tower of Babel so that he can reach the Babylonian gods. It's a look at the civilization of the Babylon and the importance of getting construction workers, contractors, architects, and building inspectors to all speak the same language.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  19. History Bites Season 4 Episode 19 - Psychic Celebrity
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    #19 - Psychic Celebrity

    S4:E19

    At the height of the Renaissance an obscure French doctor becomes an international sensation with his amazingly accurate predictions, such as ""The Lion of The East Will Meet the Dark Wind."" Wow! An infomercial for Nostrodamus's new book of predictions reveals this doctor is not much of a psychic.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  20. History Bites Season 4 Episode 20 - Bewitched
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    #20 - Bewitched

    S4:E20

    A complex trial involving many witnesses, many accusers, many defendants, and invisible magical evidence tests the corporeal powers of Judge Judy. This parody of a courtroom sends up the travesty of justice that shook the early American colonies with reports of scandal, devil worship, and rampant evil.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  21. History Bites Season 4 Episode 21 - Five Ring Circus
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    #21 - Five Ring Circus

    S4:E21

    A look at the original Olympic Games reveals that even in Plato's time athletes took money to compete, won prizes and accolades for their victories, and were surrounded by controversy.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  22. History Bites Season 4 Episode 22 - Gratuitous Sex & Violence
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    #22 - Gratuitous Sex & Violence

    S4:E22

    Excess violence in popular entertainment is not a new issue. Shakespeare came under attack for the excessive gore in his play Titus Andronicus. But the Bard's latest play, Hamlet is opening this week, and Merriment Tonite is there to cover all the Renaissance glitz and glamour.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  23. History Bites Season 4 Episode 23 - Out Wit, Out Walk, Out Eat
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    #23 - Out Wit, Out Walk, Out Eat

    S4:E23

    The infamous story of the Donner Party stranded in the Rocky Mountains is done as a parody of Survivor. In its time, the Donner story was a huge scandal. Its intrigue and ruthlessness caught the public's attention as members of the expedition did anything to stay alive.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  24. History Bites Season 4 Episode 24 - Ten Lost Days
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    #24 - Ten Lost Days

    S4:E24

    After 1500 years of counting days, the old Julian calendar has fallen behind. Under pressure to set things right, Pope Gregory simply cancels October 6th through 15th. When Catholic communities convert, and Protestant ones don't, the result makes converting to metric system seem like a lark.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  25. History Bites Season 5 Episode 1 - The Osborgias
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    #25 - The Osborgias

    S5:E1

    A dysfunctional family (The Borgias) who bullied their way into the Papacy and almost destroyed the Catholic church with their scandalous vices; A deadly parody of The Osbournes, following Pope Alexander as he battles with his favourite mistress and most important bastard children.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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Best Episodes Summary

"The Black Death" is the best rated episode of "History Bites". It scored /10 based on 0 votes. Directed by Unknown and written by Unknown, it aired on 10/1/1998. This episode scored 0.0 points higher than the second highest rated, "The Day The Island Stood Still".