President Barack Obama: Just Tell Him You're the President

Steve Martin: If You See This on a Toilet Seat, Don't Sit Down

Kathleen Madigan & Chuck Martin: Stroked Out on a Hot Machine

Garry Shandling: It's Great That Garry Shandling Is Still Alive

Sebastian Maniscalco: I Don't Think That's Bestiality

Will Ferrell: Mr. Ferrell, For the Last Time, We're Going to Ask You to Put the Cigar Out